Friday, March 9, 2012

First steps...


Hello...

...

 I have never really kept up a blog before... I tried, but although I have written many things, I just did not put it out there for everyone to see.

 I have always been a sort of caterpillar that slowly transformed into a butterfly, but is still hiding in its cocoon because it is the safest place to be. I expected to grow wings and fly, but had decided to put it off. Why you may ask? Well fear is a good answer, but it was always more than just that. It’s not so much about being afraid... well yes it was, but not the traditional versions of that word. I am afraid, not of whether or not I am liked, but of being able to show whom I am (and will become) accurately.

 I also worry that my wings will show brighter and more fluid than anyone could ever imagine, that I may show people up, and that that may cause others to feel uneasy around me. I do not care if people like me or not, as there will always be someone who doesn’t, however I hope that I can make others see that I’m just being me, and not trying to be better than them. No one is ever better than another… we can only be better than our previous selves.

 Here comes the hard part... how do you break away from everyone else's opinion of yourself, and find your own? That's a question I'm still trying to come to terms with... the answer isn't as clear as most people would believe. I still hear, somewhere around, that I should be this or do that. Although it may be good advice, sometimes I just don't understand how to get there. How do I become what I should be, even when I know who that is, when I'm not sure of the first steps to take.

 ...

Here goes...  let's see what I can do...

out of that cocoon.




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